A child born of an heroin addict, weighing 1 lb. Surrendered at birth, in hopes of a better life.

To recover means to restore to original state. Recovery to me means to faithfully step outside of the familiar way I had so comfortably become accustomed to living and travel to the unknown; a new way of life.

Through my journey I’ve spent the past 25 years abusing prescription drugs. Traveling through this period of time resulting in four C-sections and a series of master manipulated unwarranted surgeries.

Nearing the last six months as my disease progressed I began snorting my pills (in spite of the intense burn) in search of an ultimate high with no ceiling.

This behavior quickly became a need of survival instead of a thrill to take off in flight. Life as I knew it was taking a speedy spiral down. I was daily committing suicide. The pills a.k.a Xanax and Percocet, took the throne as my lord and savior.

Dreadful times come when my supply ran out and dope sickness set in leaving me unable to function; much less keep up personal hygiene.

I had acquired a piece of the American dream; house, truck, deacon in the church, college, husband, healthy children & grandchildren only to have it slip through my fingers like grains of sand left with the cold chill of sitting in a homeless shelter with children and co-dependant husband in toe.

Life as I knew it was out of control, I was powerless with no sight of redemption.

I had always prided myself in being a servant for my higher power (whom I choose to call God). I felt peace and joy for extending my hand to help someone in need, now I found myself standing in the need of nothing short of a miracle.

After a brief moment of clarity God sent a boat to help rescue me. A gut wrenching decision was made to send my three young children to care so I could go to Maryhaven to begin my road to recovery. After my stay there Amethyst extended their hand with a ray of hope and said “If I would just let them help me”. I decided to take a leap of faith, not seeing past the moment evidence of new life was inevitable. Daily was I took tiny steps of faith mixed with a dash of courage my life began to take hold, I could see dry land.

On the wings of prayers from my family, church family, and the shoulders of Amethyst staff, recovery became the brass ring. God uses ordinary people to do extra ordinary things. I could finally stand on solid ground and as I looked to the hills from where my help comes, God gently said “If you take one step; I’ll take two”. My prayer became not “Why me?” but “Why NOT me?”

In recovery there are good days and bad; but today my good days outweigh my bad days, so I won’t complain.

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