By: S.P.
I’m torn, I’m broken, I can no longer run.
This game I’ve been playing is no longer fun
I keep thinking I’ll win, but I’ve already lost,
Desperately realizing, I’m paying the cost.
Easy come, easy go, it’s all part of the show,
Believe me, I know.
I sit back and think of all the time gone by,
I can’t think for too long or I’ll start to cry.
So many ups, too many downs.
Some of the smiles, all of the frowns,
All of the bridges that I have burned,
All of the lessons that I still have not learned,
But the ones I have will live with me forever.
This pain that I carry like a bag of bricks,
I must find a way to put it all down, but how?
Each time I’m ahead, the further I fall.
Once again I’m left with only my thoughts,
Guilts and shame, anger and resentments,
All in a small cell, with no one to call.
Then I sit and think, which life will I chose?
This time will I win or once again will I lose?
You would think this time I would already know,
Which way I should go.
At times I forget, I become weak,
Then I forget what it is that I seek.
I’ll take what I’ve learned, what I’ve been shown,
And show all them around me, inside I have grown.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad.
Sometimes I get stuck on the good times I’ve had.
Inside I want to stop by some places, but I know if I do,
I will only fail again.
I know people wonder, where did she go?
I am one of a kind, you didn’t already know.
But even the best at playing this game,
Is still empty inside and feels all the pain,
Because to win at this game is only an illusion,
In the end you are left with only confusion.
I know whatever I do, I’ll wind up ahead,
But if I keep playing this game, I’ll wind up DEAD!